Sleepless in Seattle (okay, not Seattle, but Rexburg)

So instead of grading papers or writing papers, I am going to blog instead. I should be asleep but somehow I am not.

Life has just been unbelievably crazy these past few months. I'm getting closer to graduation everyday, and I am SO grateful for this. I keep getting pressure about when I will start my PhD program, but to be honest, it makes me sick to even think about it. The major difference in continuing my education is that I will be able to actually attend school, and not have to meet my classmates and teachers using the Internet.
But that also means we need to be close to a school where I can actually do that.

I love being in a classroom, even better, I love one-on-one conversations and exchanging of ideas. It is cathartic, inspiring, and exhausting all at the same time--but it's worth it. I have a feeling that if I am faced with writing a dissertation, that I will get very close with my advisors, and I will gain a wealth of knowledge from them--and that makes me excited.

I just kind of hate school though. I love to learn, but I hate jumping through ridiculous hoops and wasting my time. I think most students, unless they're crazy, would agree with me. Did I mention I can not wait until June 2011 when I will have my degree?! I'm also really excited for what this degree will qualify me for. I have a few prospects at this point, and Jeff and I are feeling very blessed because of that. It's amazing that Heavenly Father knows what's right for us. I like to have my life planned out. But sometimes things don't go according to plan, and we can feel hopeless and picked on. I know I've felt this way, especially when I miscarried. But I know there's a greater plan in store for us, and all good things will come in time.

The units for my grad program are broken up into ten week sessions. I'm on week eight of my current unit, and I will have the week of Thanksgiving off before starting a new unit. During my week of vacation from USC, I will also get a week of vacation off of BYUI! So I am going to CA to spend Thanksgiving with Jeff's families. I CANNOT wait for a little break. And I am crossing my fingers that Jeff and I will get free tickets to spend a day at Disneyland! I have been to Southern California several times these last three years, and I still haven't gotten to play at the happiest place on earth! We've also planned to go on a special date to a popular pizza place in LA and we're planning to see Harry Potter in IMAX while we're down there. It's going to be wonderful! That week of vacation is definitely what's keeping me motivated to keep on keepin' on.

After vacation, I will come back to Idaho, and I will begin what's called "guided practice." This is essentially student teaching. I will be student teaching in a 7th grade Language Arts class for ten weeks and then will relocate to the Junior High to teach 9th grade English for another ten weeks.

When thinking about walking in my upcoming graduation, I had a flashback of high school anxiety. In high school, I really didn't want to go to graduation, and I almost missed it because my mom and I went to Florida with my Dad on a business trip--too bad we came back two days before graduation. Anyway, I don't regret walking in HS graduation, but I think I would have had I not gone through with it. And here I am again. I think I HAVE to walk in graduation! How many times will I graduate with my masters? Only once. Plus, I would love to have photos to document it, so my future children believe me when I tell them what I accomplished before they were born. I want them to understand how important education is and that if I could do it, so can they.

And being the girl that I am, I'm already stressing about what I'll wear. I think cardinal or gold shoes are a must. GO TROJANS!