The Super Bowl isn't actually my cup of tea. Jeff isn't really a football fan either. He considers football season his "off-season." But don't worry, he keeps himself busy during the rest of the year with baseball, basketball, and golf. But he's just like any other sports fan, he has his favorites, but when it comes to big events like these, he doesn't discriminate. So here we are, enjoying this time together with the Saints and the Colts.
I, however, am trying to keep my mind off of feeling sorry for myself and focusing on the fact that I've been sick since Tuesday. Not to mention that I even went to the doctor just to be told I have a virus, and that I should fill my prescription, not right then, but if the sick feeling doesn't go away. Awesome. I really dislike people who are dumb and waste my time. These people are also not my cup of tea.
You know what is my cup of tea? Being happy. I really like being happy. I like to forget my worries; it doesn't happen very often but I rejoice when it does. This doesn't really make me unique, it just makes human. But I decided recently that it's time to start doing as much as I can to increase this happiness that I so crave.
One thing that I've been trying lately is free writing. What I do is this, I log into gmail and click on documents. Melissa taught me how this works. There I can keep an online journal of things that I just want to get off of my chest, or I can keep these free writes that I've gotten into. What is so cool about these free writes is that I don't have to worry about anyone else reading them, transitions, grammar, or even making sense. I like that I can just write whatever is in my mind. My favorite thing about writing is that you don't necessarily have to know what you want to write about when you start. I like that writing is a means of discovery. There have been many times where I have just pushed aside my fears or anxieties about writing and simply put my fingertips on the keyboard.
When I was a freshman in college, I took a writing course in a computer classroom. Everyday, my teacher had us free write for the first fifteen minutes of class. I can honestly say that this was a great exercise for me to explore my thoughts. Further, this teacher once instructed us to free write on our computers, but before starting, we had to turn off the monitor. Because we couldn't see the words and sentences we were typing, we couldn't focus on punctuation or grammar, we could only focus on what thoughts we were trying to communicate. I thought this was a great activity to help us really tap into our own thoughts. I'm really getting into how therapeutic this kind of writing is.
Besides that, I have looked to others for ideas on how to harness happiness. In my search, I have discovered something called "Live Lists." This is where you create a list of things you would like to do, create, see, taste in this life. As someone is who sort of known for playing it safe, this kind of seems like a scary premise, but most of my favorite memories were of times when I just let go and tried not to care what others thought.
Jeff is kind of key in this new resolution. Anyone who knows Jeff knows that he LOVES to socialize and just have a good time. This is obviously one of the major things that attracted me to him since I tend to be a bit uptight. I really admired how easily he conversed with people and how he wasn't afraid to be himself, even if that meant he became the butt of the joke. So because of this, I am resolving to be serious when appropriate, but trying to remember that this life is short and I better get as much out of it as I can. That, of course, doesn't mean that I have to travel the world or cure cancer to be satisfied, but that I can fine little happinesses throughout the day, every day.
Wish me luck! I'll keep you posted as I work on my Live List and suggestions from your own lists are welcome as well :)
And one last thing: to start off my live list, here's a fun photo that Megan took a couple months before my wedding. The Swank girls got together in Utah to help me get ready for the big day, but we made a stop to Motherhood Maternity to find Melissa a dress (she was pregnant with Joseph at the time). While Melissa was showing off an outfit to the other girls, I strapped on a belly and modeled an outfit of my own.
Happy living to you!
5 comments:
Well did you see any commercials? What was your favorite? Anyway we watched a little, but still had our own superbowl party for 2. Of course it was fun and delicious. We made the little mini Rhodes rolls pizzas and had all of the usual fare too! We are glad to see you looking for the things to make you happy, time does pass too fast, and you need to enjoy each moment, like cuddling with Jeff, or Dali, and eating yummy food, the sunshiny days even when its cold, jambas, chocolate of most sorts, and many other fun things. Remember the endorphins that come with exercise, I think some say it can be fun but I can't attest to it! The best thing for you is to come see us and we will cuddle you!! Love you Melz and tell Jeff too!
LOL all i have to say about that ridiculously funny picture... :) love you my dear!
OMGOSH I saw the photo and flipped haha, are you trying to tell us something???
ps I seriously brought myself a book to the super bowl party which I read until commercials came on.
Not a football fan...
I think one of my things on my live list would be to try on a fake pregnant belly. you're great!
The belly looks very cute, I wish mine was cute. I didn't even attempt to watch the super bowl this year. Marty insists I not talk. Trying to write with the screen off would be difficult to get use to but very freeing at the same time.
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