I'm sorry

I apologize for not writing in a while. I just don't have a whole lot to say to blog world lately--mostly because there could be crazy stalker people who want to know what's going on in my life--okay, I'm just flattering myself, but best to error on the side of caution, right?

This morning I woke up at a lovely 10:30 am (last day before starting a new semester of teaching and being a grad student). We don't have air conditioning, so this was the first morning in a long while that I woke up a little chilly. I wanted to stay wrapped up for the remainder of the morning, but thought better of it. Instead I stole one of Jeff's big, comfy sweatshirts to snuggle up in.

It was a steady 48 degrees today and raining all day. It was a very abrupt change from the seventy degree weather last week. But Rexburg weather is nothing if not consistent in its inconsistency. After nearly six years of living here, you'd think I would have just accepted it and moved on to complaining about other things, but nope. I don't know if that will happen. Twenty something years from now, I'll still be complaining about Rexburg weather when I come to visit my children.

In other news, today was kind of a overwhelming one. While getting ready for the new semester, I started to think of all my new students, working with them, hoping to teach them effectively, and then thinking about my own school work. I thought grad school was pretty easy until today. I read the syllabi for my next two 10-week classes. It was sort of a reality check. Grad school is supposed to be difficult. It is supposed to challenge. I just need to keep the mindset that I CAN DO IT!

Have you ever noticed that we have challenges in life and they can seem so scary or difficult, even insurmountable. But it's just a matter of time before that challenge is over and replaced with another one. Another thing we do is we can develop this mentality that if I can just make it to Christmas, if I can just get through this diet, if I can just get through this tax season, what have you, then life's problems will just melt away like a ice cube on a hot summer day? I'm definitely guilty of this, and that is why I like to remember this council, "Grow where you're planted." It sounds a little cheesy, I know. But this a new goal for me. My current circumstances are conducive to laying a sure and strong foundation for my marriage and the family that we pray we can have one day. I shouldn't waste this time in my life wishing for the life that I hope to have. Now is the time to practice self-improvement. Now is the time to start traditions. Now is the time to learn to effectively handle the curve balls that life throws at me. Now is the time--okay, I'm sort of sounding like a commencement speech. I'll cool it.

I've just been doing a lot of reflecting today. And let me tell you a few things that helped iron out a few of the wrinkles in a highly emotional day:

Jaime and Ryan--I'm so lucky that they let me come over and never try to kick me out, maybe it's because I can't shut my mouth, or maybe it's just because they are that nice.

My cell phone and ichat--Thank you for making it possible for me to keep in contact with those I love

Jeff's Sweatshirt--when I wear you, I like to keep the hood up for some reason. You are big, soft, and dark grey, in other words, you are beautiful

Dali--you love me even at my worst. Here you are just sleeping so peacefully next to me, wanting nothing but to be close.

I'm grateful for a bad day gone great :)